Moving on from grief and breaking the cycle of negative energy
Throughout life we all experience grief. There are a multitude of reasons why this can be so. You may have a loved one die or become seriously ill, you may lose a pet, you may have to move on from a job, a place or a group of people that have been a big part of your life for a long time.
The risk of not dealing with grief appropriately is that the emotion takes over your life and creates a cycle of negative energy where you stop looking after yourself and become unable to let go of the sadness and loss, risking mental of physical illness.
How can you deal well with grief?
Give yourself time. Grieving is not a 24 hour virus, you will need to journey through the 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) over a period of time. This will vary from person to person but can be weeks, through to months, or even longer. It is important to allow yourself to actually feel sad and to be able to express this, so make sure that you are giving yourself the opportunity to do so. Don’t rush back to work after bereavement leave, forcing yourself to be in a situation where you need to be professional and action-orientated rather than allowing yourself to go with how you are feeling. Now is the time to go with your Yin energy – the feminine energy that is gentle, still and introspective. The cycle of negative energy that can occur with grief occurs when we get stuck before reaching the final ‘acceptance’ stage of grief.
Keep doing things that you enjoy, even if you may not really feel like them. Your good friends will understand you’re not going to be the life of the party and you may find yourself needing to talk to someone different about what you’re going through. That class or activity you normally do might give you the opportunity to change focus for a short time, so keep up your routine to some extent.
Health and Wellbeing
Grief is exhausting and it will not be unusual for you to feel the need to sleep more than you normally would. Go with it, listen to your body. If you are tired but not sleeping well then check out my Blog and Video on Essential Oils that can help.
Eating well and avoiding alcohol are also very important. It is tempting to make minimal or no effort with shopping and cooking food when grieving. Now is the time to ask people for help, to accept that home cooked meal, and make sure you are consuming nutritious whole foods. This is a period of high stress where your immune system needs all the support you can give it.
Using alcohol and other drugs may make you feel somewhat better whilst their ‘pain-numbing’ effects are in place, but afterwards you are likely to feel worse, and they also have a negative effect on your immune system. Exercise and mediation stimulate the production of the body’s natural happy drugs – serotonin and dopamine – so these are both great things to continue or even to take up in times of grief. For further information, check out my Blog and Video on 6 Ways to Motivate Yourself to Exercise and Top 3 Excuses for not Meditating and how to overcome them.
A professional and objective person to help you express your grief can be very beneficial, especially if you don’t have people that you can talk to. If, on the other hand, you are ‘talked out’ and you don’t want to have to explain yourself all over again to another person, then you could consider Reiki. Reiki is a non-cognitive therapy – it doesn’t require you to think about or intend anything because it works on all the energetic levels of the body – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Reiki brings your energies back into balance to enhance the body’s natural healing abilities. A quality Reiki practitioner will certainly require you to explain why it is that you are seeking Reiki and will also establish from you other information about your general wellbeing, but you will not need to explore deep psychological wounds or past issues in order to get benefit from Reiki. Whatever needs to come out, will come out during a Reiki session. If you need to cry you can and will, and you won’t need to explain why.
Reiki will allow you once again have a sense of being supported by the Universe, or whatever higher power you believe in, and trusting in the future. It will help you to feel motivated to move forward, letting go of your sadness, without relinquishing your memories of the person or thing that you have lost. After Reiki the people that I work with report feeling more balanced, clear headed, lighter and calmer.
Reiki cannot take your grief away but it can improve your strength and resilience in dealing with it, and most importantly it can break the cycle of negative energy that can occur in grief situations, and help you to move on.
If you would like any more information about Reiki for Grief, or anything else about your Wellbeing, please contact me.
If you are ready to break the negative energy cycle of grief so that you can move on with your life Book a session now.
If you, or anyone you care about, has been going through grief for a number of months without much improvement please seek assistance from a GP in the first instance.